I Don’t Believe It!!!

Today I was shovelling snow outside the house, and one of the (ex) careworkers, Margaret, cycled past. She was one of the two the other weekend who took great exception at me leaving a polite reminder notice and had a go at my mother about it!

She noticed me and, smiling, said, “That was unfortunate about your mother”.

Unfortunate!!!!! What an extraordinary thing to say, and why was she smiling? Maybe the careworker buzzline had some story about what those last careworkers who saw my mother when she wasn’t moving.

Taken aback by her strange comment I said that I gathered that she wasn’t very happy with the note I’d left. She muttered something and, now irritated, I said that it was interesting that there was no apology in her reply for failing to do things, and that the whole reply was about her! She tried to offer some sort of apology and I also pointed out that she’d upset my mother somewhat, almost to the point of crying.

She cycled off…

Funny how she won’t stand up for herself with me, but could have a go at a 97-year-old woman…

Supremely Insensitive Supreme Care

My mother died Thursday night, and despite my grief I rang Supreme Care at 22:41 and left a somewhat upset message on their so-called emergency phone line answerphone about my mother. There was no response

…until 7.55 the next morning.

So let me see, I make a late phone call about my mother’s death, and I probably had a sleepless night, and the idiot Georgina rang up at 7:55!! In a completely emotionless voice she said, “Hello J**, I’m sorry for your loss.” Sounds to me like she was reading that from something. And then she said something along the lines that a careworker still had some house keys and could she drop that off and pick up the careworkers’ log (which, incidentally, was not filled out for the last day). I said “No”, I was still in bed, so to try later. Georgina is the one who was supposedly in charge of the careworkers for my mother. She was also the one who never told of any changes of careworkers, careworker times and never gave any feedback.

I have not heard anything more from Supreme Care. But it was quite obvious Georgina didn’t care one jot about my mother, or there might have been some words of sympathy. Oh silly me, I forgot, this is a company of careworkers…

I did bump into my mother’s usual day careworker during the day, and she told me that Georgina had not told her that my mother had died and so she turned up at the house. I wondered who was ringing the doorbell at 9:30… And why, when Georgina knew at 7:55 my mother had died did Georgina not tell the careworker?

I have not heard anything from Anchor Care. My mother’s dead so they’re not in the slightest bit interested – if they ever were. I expected no more from them.

And I also discovered that careworkers yesterday had put all the spoiled sheets and clothes in the laundry basket, where they proceded to stink the room out, rather than put them to soak in a bowl in the bathroom.

Last Day

The usual nonsense this morning with the careworkers late and coming at different times, unexpected people. I went to the chemist for the food supplement for my mother and also went to the doctors’ surgery to request that a doctor come to see my mother. After her slight perkiness last night she was again very dopey; slow really,  almost as if she was in slow motion.

Next the district nurses came to redress the bed sore and attach the catheter. I heard the occasional squeal from mother from the pain it was causing when she moved.

At first I thought I would go to work, but I was just not happy with the condition of my mother and so I wanted to be around to talk to the doctor. But I had to go out a couple of times. The first time I came back the front door had been left open by one of the careworkers (and she hung her handbag on my bike!) Humph!

But the careworkers weren’t having a great time as my mother had emptied her bowels, and because of the catheter her incontinance pads were loose around her (rather too loose I thought, but that’s the way the district nurses left her). They were having enough trouble with that so I said I’d give my mother her pills a bit later.

Then on the way back the second time the trains decided to slow down for two signal failures and so I missed the visit, but was able to go round to the surgery to talk to him. He talked about taking a urine test the next day and acting on the results on Monday. Clearly he wasn’t too worried about her. He did say something like “she is systemically sound”.

So I left feeling rather more positive, but still not quite enough. I had a long-standing arrangement to meet some friends for a meal, so another friend offered to ‘mother-sit’. I didn’t feel bad about going out after the visit to the doctor’s.

The newly-added (today) afternoon visit by careworkers arrived just as I was leaving (about 1 hour after I had been told they were coming!). They seemed to have a bit of trouble knowing what to do for my mother.

So I left, and around 20:15 the careworkers arrived (15 mins early)  and overlapped with the nurses who had come to change the dressing. They all thought my mother was rather sleepy, and it was the careworkers who said she wouldn’t drink anything.

My friend, though, noticed that her eyes were glazed and she wasn’t reacting to any external stimuli. When the careworkers eventually left he went back to see her and she was still in exactly the same position…

He tried to get her attention, but it was no good; her eyes were not seeing anything. He called an ambulance (and then me) and they arrived amazingly quickly. But it was no good. She was no longer with us…

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The purpose of this blog was to vent the stress I had at the careworkers and other ’support services’, and I have to say that my estimation of these people approaches zero. I asked one careworker earlier in the week if, with the little food my mother was eating, if she’d lost weight. “Oh yes”, the careworker replied. But why didn’t she tell anyone?

It seems that nearly everyone saw my mother’s deteriorating state as normal!!! The district nurses asked the doctors for a food supplement on Monday, and I finally got them on Thursday. The doctors, when asked by the nurses, prescribed a stronger pain killer for my mother, but none of them thought to visit my mother to actually see how she was, and in the last week the nurses were calling the surgery almost every day I think. The nurses said that some of the bed sore was ‘necrotic’, but that didn’t seem to worry anyone either. And some days the smell from the sore was almost overwhelming.

Obviously this is an emotional time, but I feel let down. Everyone started to rally together near the end, but then it was far too late. It took, I’m told, a week between the careworkers reporting that the bed sore had go really bad before the nurses acted on it! And the nurses should have known about the sore for the years she’d had it, off and on. In fact in recent times the careworkers had been more involved in my mother’s sore toe than the bed sore, despite the obvious pain she was in.

And I am very annoyed at the careworker on Monday who didn’t take a urine sample because the other careworker was late and ‘there wasn’t time’. If we’d had that sample… (And she wasn’t able to take a sample on Tuesday either)

I do get the impression that my mother’s deteriorating state was something everyone thought should be dealt with, rather than anyone actually wondering why it was happening in the first place.

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The only consolation is that my mother just drifted away. There was no fear, panic, just gently leaving us. In her world she faded away, and she leaves behind a memory for many people of a bright, interesting and interested person who was amazingly kind. I couldn’t have asked for a more loving mother…

It Gets Worse…

Another horrible day…

The careworkers are booked at 9:00, and one turned up at 9:30, and she then proceeded to declare that she was only going to stay for her booked half hour, so there wasn’t time to put my mother on the commode! And this was from the woman who regularly worked less than her half hour booked at lunch time and got my mother to log out for her!!! Seems a good deed ony works of it’s for the careworker’s benefit.

The second careworker turned up at 9:40, a replacement I discover. Of course not a word from Supreme Care about a change of careworker, or that they would be so late. In fact when I rang up just before 9:30 to find out where the careworkers were, our liaison had no idea they were late, and never mentioned there was a replacement. Of course we’re just the customers… or is that the victims?

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I had to leave for work and later in that morning I got a call from the head District Nurse. She had visited my mother with the other nurses and had things to tell me. The first was that the careworkers had locked the nurses in the house when they left. (I discovered the next day that the careworkers had asked the district nurses if they had keys and they had said, “Yes”!!) Unbelievable… (Of course, if the careworkers had locked the front door when they came in this wouldn’t happen, but that never happens).

So the nurses tried to get out the back way, and this head nurse told me they had left the garden’s back gate open. What she didn’t tell me was that they didn’t lock the patio doors, so we could easily have been burgled. Thanks a lot!!!

She also told me that some of my mother’s pressure sore was possibly necrotic and that they needed my mother to have a catheter insertedso that urine wouldn’t get into the sore! They also wanted an additional afternoon visit, which would be good if I had any confidence in careworkers…

And my poor mother has to stay in bed for a week now, to try to cure this awful sore that should never have been allowed to get this bad, and that seems to be the fault of the district nurses. The careworkers had been saying for some time about the sore, reporting back to the agencies, and the nurses were coming in, but not really doing much for the sore apart from putting a dressing on that came off within a day…

Anyway, the nurse says she was still trying to talk to one of the doctor’s in the local surgery. You know, I am quite amazed and disappointed that after all the phone calls with nurses this past week not one of them has thought it worth visiting my mother to see how she is.

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On the way home I went into the local chemist to pick up, I thought, the high-energy drinks for my mother, who has hardly eaten since Sunday – no wonder she’s so sleepy and weak. Well, they hadn’t the drinks yet as they were on order. So from a request on Monday it’s going to take until Thursday to get the actual product. At least the chemist was good enought to provide something for tonight, and I think my mother seemed a bit brighter after that!

I was also presented at the chemist with a big box of stuff for the district nurses. Of course, not one nurse told me that there were any prescriptions to collect! am I meant to be a mind reader?

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Got home and found my mother fast asleep. There was a tea towel on the bed! What on earth was that doing there?? And even more bizarre was the glass flask from a coffee caffetierre sitting on the commode. The mind boggles what that was used for…

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The evening careworkers pretended they came at their usual 8:20 (it should be 8:30, well actually 9:00) but they were here at least 5 minutes before. Had they been appraised of my mother’s new situation? No, not all. What a pathetic state of things. Just what is my mother paying around £600 a month for? (Next day the agency told me they had told the late careworkers about the situation! Who do you believe?)

Oh yes, and another niggle. Yet again they slam the front door when they go, shaking the whole house, despite my repeated requests that they close it gently, and all the time they were here the key safe was open, in the rain. Then they wonder why it jams.

I dispair…

And another day…

Another long day…

First off, the morning careworkers had been asked to get a urine sample from my mother. I noticed that today a careworker turned up at 9:00 (yesterday they both arrived at 9:20). The second careworker arrived some time later. The first careworker told me that she couldn’t get a urine sample as my mother didn’t want to use the commode, so no sample.

Hold on a minute… Later on it dawned on me that the careworkers are only allowed to use the hoist in pairs, so there was no way this morning the careworkers had event tried to get my mother on the commode. And, sure enough, at lunch time I discovered that because the second careworker was late the first decided she “hadn’t enough time” to put my mother on the commode!!!! Surely nearly everyone needs to go to the toilet first thing in the morning?

Then the district nurses came to deal with my mother’s bed sore. I asked about the ‘hospital bed’ that another district nurse had rung about yesterday and they confirmed they’d heard her talking about it, and after some phone calls later I disocvered it was on its way, and it was installed by 16:00.

Meanwhile, exit nurses and a little while after come the Occupational Therapists to see about the sling my mother was using and about a better version.

The careworkers were booked and one turned up on time, beaming away. But she rang the doorbell, seemingly without any idea how she should get in (didn’t know about the key safe) and she seemed pretty dim, to be quite blunt. The other careworker turned up over 15 mins later.

I also noticed, again, how the careworkers keep their gloves on, thus spreading any germs from my mother all around the house, on doors, handles, bannisters, house keys, etc, etc. Do the have any idea of hygene????

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Tonight’s careworkers had to be shown, by me, how to use the new sling. Then when they had gone I doscovered the most bizarre way they had put my mother to bed. Her feet were s close to the board of the bottom of the bed that they had to put a pillow between it and her feet! Her head was about a foot and a half from the headboard. The really stupid thing was that one of the main reasons for the new bed is that it can raise the end of the bed to put my mother in a sitting position. They’d left my mother so that if the bed was raised her back would not be suported, and probably strained. Crazy!

So I rang the agency straight away, got the answerphone and left a message. I rang again a short while later, the same… But then the main careworker turned up and she explained why some of the things were the way they were, but she hadn’t got the idea where my mother’s back should be in relation to the bed. But at least she came back, and that impressed me.

And more…

Poor mother, in pain generally and particularly from the bed sore. At the moment she is more enduring life than anything else. She stayed in bed this morning so the District Nurses could attend the sore more easily, and ‘get stuck in’ (my quote).

That went well, although my mother fell asleep very quickly.

Then around 16:30 my mobile rang briefly from my mother. I rang back, and after some time she answered, and rather sleepily wondered when I was coming home as the fire was not on. BOTH careworkers had forgotten to put it on when they took my mother to the front room at lunch time. Human error, yes, but really no way to treat a 98 year old!

So I rang Supreme Care to ask if there was any careworker nearby who could pop in and put the fire on. The contact said there was no one particularly near, but she would contact the careworker in charge at lunch time, who was not too far away…

I heard nothing, and so rang back at 17:00 to find out what was happening. I discovered the careworker had been contacted and was on her way! Once again Supreme Care didn’t think to keep the client (or me) up to date. So there I was worrying about my mother and the careworker was on her way, but Supreme Care couldn’t be bothered to ring back…

As it was near the end of the work day I left and got home while the careworker was there. She was almost as distressed as I was that the fire had not been put on.

It’s so refreshing to have a careworker who actually does care…

(And I will add that the 2 night careworkers are pleasant)

So another day where things don’t run smoothly.

Something I Said?

Well, it’s the weekend, so Anchor time, and as requested by the Occuptaional Therapists I got up in time to see the careworkers, the first of whom arrived around 8:30. I’ll call her M1. Now she is quite outspoken, and said that she was here to do her half hour and because the other careworker (M2) is notorious for being late she was only prepared to stay until 9:00. “After all,” she said, “it’s not a life-threatening situation”.

Bt soon after M2 came, and M1 just went on and on about how amazed she was that M2 was on time – she wouldn’t let it go! Both careworkers were quite confident they knew how to use the sling & hoist, but I insisted I would show them as requested. It was obvious they almost knew what to do, but not quite.

So they dealt with my mother, staying 15 mins longer than booked, but… When they had gone I doscovered that once again they’d left the wet face towels above the electrical part of the radiator, put the dirty pads in a spearate plastic bag rather then in the bag they’re meant to go, not put the battery part in the charger (as they’d been instructed to do) and left the wheelchair right next to the electric fire, which was still on… This was not on, a real fire hazard, and potentially putting my mother’s life in danger!!

So I left a note, politely asking that do not leave the wheelchair next to the fire as it was a safety hazard and also pointing out that the pads already have a bag and a reminder to put the battery back in the charger. (I didn’t mention the towels)

When I got home at night there was a reply! It was polite, saying I had said they were careless. In fact I never used that ironic word! The note continued to talk about their poor wages and circumstances. At no point was there an apology. In fact the whole reply was about the careworkers themselves!!!

Then I spoke to my mother, who said the careworkers were furious at my note. They said they would refuse to read any more. They were fed up with the notes and felt like ripping them up and stamping on them. If I didn’t like Anchor then I should use another agency. (I tried before, but there are no others)

Firstly, no matter how annoyed they are, it is quite unprofessional to have a go at my mother – and it’s not the first time M2 has done this. In fact one morning she was sounding off at my mother, who had reminded her we paid for a full half hour’s work, and woke me up in the  upstairs bedroom!

Again, the careworkers were not in the slightest bit interested in their mistakes, just that I dared to point them out/comment on them…

So what to do?

Should I just let this outrageous behaviour go – or what?

As it turned out, one of the supervisors came at lunch the next day, so I asked her advice. When something is wrong should I ring up the office and complain (then getting the careworkers into trouble), or leave them a note they have said they won’t read and have a temper in the company of my mother?

She said that they should read my notes and act on them, and she added a note in their log book that they should do what I request.

That was a relief. I didn’t think my polite note had been bad, but some careworkers just cannot take any criticism and think by shouting and getting angry they can bully their way out of any situation. So I shall continue to leave messages, if needed.

After all, if the careworkers did what they were meant to do I wouldn’t have to leave any notes!!!

The trouble is that they are mostly in a rush to be somewhere else, and even when some agencies insist they stay for the full booked time they often rush through their work and then stand around chatting for the rest of the time. But not everyone does that…

A Very Full Day…

The first morning careworker was a little bit late, and to my surprise she got my mother out of bed by herself! (She was in a hurry)

The second careworker came somewhat later and was left to clear up, which she didn’t do very well. She left the door to my mother’s room open, letting out all the heat. She also yelled a question across the house, to which I pointed out that in our house we walk to the other person and ask the question. She didn’t like that!

And then amazingly she left the wheelchair and cushion right next to the electric fire. She wasn’t fussed when I pointed this out. I can’t believe that anyone could do this, and then one of the evening careworkers did exactly the same thing. Do these careworkers know what an electric fire is…?

Then at 10:00 the Occupational Therapists (OTs) came to supervise the installation of the hoists for my mother to get in and out of her bed and chair. And while that was going on two district nurses came to attend to my mother’s bad toe and her really bad pressure sore (which is giving her a lot of pain now).

It was finally all done and dusted by 15:00, and I have to say that the OT’s were exellent, and caring. Adjustments had to be made and they were done swiftly. Sadly, when my mother finally got to relax in her chair she was shivering, so I covered her with 2 (light-weight) blankets and gave her a light hot water bottle, but she was also shivering from nerves and it took me a little while to get her to stop gripping the chair’s arms and relax. But she did.

Unfortunately, the OTs didn’t know that Anchor Care ‘look after’ my mother at weekends, so I wasn’t too surprised when someone from Anchor turned up at the house at 19:15, unannounced, to assess what their careworkers needed to do. It’s good that they do this, but of course I could have been out and it’s so typical of Anchor not to keep us informed…

And again

Due time: 2 careworkers 09:00 – 09:30

Arrival time: 1 careworkers 09:30, 2nd careworker 09:40

The agency had no idea the careworkers were running late when I rang at 09:25.

Round-up

Bits and pieces…

The evening careworkers keep changing, and we’re never informed. Tonight the careworkers left my mother’s Mascot alarm in her sitting room, which is really quite unforgiveable…

Twice since the last post the door to my mother’s sitting room has been left open at lunchtime, allowing the heat to escape into the rest of the house.

But something good. Over the last week the careworkers have been finding it more and more difficult as my mother finds it less easy to stand. So on Tuesday a representative from the Social Services came to asses my mother, and now this Friday they’re going to install hoists to help. That’s quick service!!

I hope it will help…